Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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