just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hippo gnu deer
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
