Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
