I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
