Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
