HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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