In the future we'll all be gay
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
