Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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