Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
