Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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