you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
