There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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