It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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