Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
