I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
