$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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