There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
