they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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