SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
