Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
