he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize