I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I didn't notice because vodka
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
