Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
