Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
