Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
