After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sober January is a disaster.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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