actually, I'm a sock model
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
