Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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