The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
