The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
