somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
