so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
