ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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