kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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