I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
