ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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