sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
