I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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