walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
