This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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