quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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