in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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