Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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