its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
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