distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
