Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
