Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
