what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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