i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How's work?
Spinning.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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