Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
