well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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