I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
