I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
