well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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