Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
